READ MORE. You don't know the Lone Star State until you've experienced Gruene Hall. The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say Howdy? If your favorite 60-year-old has a good sense of humor, teasing them a little (in good fun) is okay. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans. John Steinbeck, Theres a freedom you begin to feel the closer you get to Austin, Texas. Willie Nelson, During the cold war, West Berlin was an exclave a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. - Unknown. 7. In three days no one could stand him. Joseph Heller, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. 3. -Philip Sheridan, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. Still, we put together a good number of phrases and quotes about Texas for yall. Lets shoot out the lights.Well paint the town and the front porch.Lets hallelujah the county.Put the little pot in the big pot.Throw your hat over the windmill.Ill be there with bells on.Ill wear my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.Hes all gussied up. -Rache Caine, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! Nows Your Chance. Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. Happy 65th Birthday! I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans." - Billy Clayton Quotes About Texans 10. When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. : Janine Turner, There is a special mystique to Texas. Want to Buy a West Texas Ghost Town? He was wrong about horses, for most horses are considered to be valuable, and are treated very well. for that talkative friend. Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. Red Adair, No place like Texas would I ever roam. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in. Conrad Hilton, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Markham Shaw Pyle. 15. But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. Have a wonderful birthday. Collections. "There's no better place than Texas to start over." - John Connelly. George Meredith. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? John Gunther. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! Otherwise, I wish you a very happy day, darling. He can strut sitting down.Hes all hat and no cattle.Shes all gurgle and no guts.He chamber-of-commerced it. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. In three days no one could stand him. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved world-wide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards. As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I. We're coming for you! A Great Day Bagso you can carry what you need with you (like your camera, snacks, water, sunscreen, cash, etc). Just popped in to make sure that you have a blast on your birthday. Happy birthday to someone who's wonderful in every way. No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, You can go to hell, and I will go to Texas Davy Crockett, Id rather be a fencepost in Texas than the king of Tennessee. Chris Wall, A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner. John Steinbeck, Screw you, were from Texas. Ray Wylie Hubbard, If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell General Philip Henry Sheridan, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous, and likable. On your Birthday, my dear sister, I wish I can go back in time and slap myself every time I hurt you. Dreams are the only things that give you reasons to push yourself ahead. I hope you can continue to celebrate the years on my side. Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. Hope your birthday cake is as sweet as you! (Say what? 9. Happy birthday! Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. In Texas, folks aren't just richlocals say they didn't come to town two to a mule. Funny Quotes on Birthday. Common as cornbread, old as dirt, funny as all get-outhomespun expressions link modern Texans to our rural and agricultural past, conveying the resolute spirit and plainspoken humor of our heroes and pioneers. So I got a cake." - Mitch Hedberg, comedian May your smile get brighter with each passing year. )Dont get all het up about it.Theres a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree.Theres no tree but bears some fruit.Skin your own buffalo.You better throw a sop to the dogs.Dont squat on your spurs.Any mules tail can catch cockleburs.A drought usually ends with a flood.If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.A lean dog runs fast.The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. -Ninfa Laurenzo, I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. Join us on this incredible adventure! I hope this year's aliens are friendlier. Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. Go shawty! ". Leave them blank to get signed up. 0 ; Copy He gave me the wire-brush treatment.I got sandpapered.Ill snatch you bald-headed.Ill whip you like a redheaded stepchild.Ill knock you plumb into next week.He got his tail feathers trimmed. It moves into you. Manny Fernandez, As a Texan and a country music fan, I didnt learn George Strait songs; I knew them the same way I know English. Jack Ingram, Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. Sam Houston, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age. Someone doesn't merely dieshe opens herself up a worm farm. What do they tell us about America? It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. You may remember fondly. Hes all hat and no cattle. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! This Texas saying is better used when something goes wrong. Trust us, it's worse than dogs. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. One time she wrote about sports. 6. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". -Katherine Dunn, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legendand a song, and a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. She is a strong Vanguard worth E2ing eventually for the gameplay gains as well. -Rosemary Kent, At the risk of descending to unscientific generalizations, 90 percent of Texans give the other 10 percent a bad name. There Are No Two Sides in Texass Fiery Truck Debate, At Brownsvilles Annual Grito Contest, Its All About Yelling Your Heart Out, The Astrodomes Decline From Eighth Wonder to Eighth Blunder of the World, Mosquito Hawks Are Flitting All Over Texas, I Biked the I-35 Hell Route From Austin to San Antonio So You Dont Have To. This is hog-killing weather.Theres only a strand of barbed wire between here and there, and its down (after a blizzard).Cold as a well-diggers knee.Cold as a frosted frog.Cold as an ex-wifes heart.Cold as a cast-iron commode.Cold as a bankers heart.Cold as hell with the furnace out. Lets light a shuck.Its time to heat up the bricks.Its time to put the chairs in the wagon.Its time to swap spit and hit the road.Its time to put out the fire and call in the dogs.Hes heading for the wagon yard.Lets blow this pop stand.That about puts the rag on the bush.Church is out.Thats all she wrote. He often speaks highly of himself but does not follow through with his actions. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend. God bless you. Matthew McConaughey and his wife, Camila Alves, stepped out at his annual Mack, Jack & McConaughey Gala alongside their son Levi. Got a big hole in the fence. -Molly Ivins, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world Choreographer Tommy Tune. Texas is an obsession. This aint my first rodeo. Shes itching for something she wont scratch for. for dreaming for something too big! I always like to pick mine up ahead of time. -Texas Department of Transportation, If you grab enough Texas land, somethin good is bound to happen. Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Check out these belated birthday wishes if you're looking to make it up to your friend whose. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. "The way I see it, you should live every day like it's your birthday." Paris Hilton "A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life." Amit Kalantri "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." Lucy Larcom "Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". Looks like shes been chewed up, spit out, and stepped on.Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet.She looks like chewed twine.He looks like Bowsers bone.I was born tired and Ive since suffered a relapse.One wheel down and the axle dragging.Im near about past going. happy birthday png and psd. Birthdays are a great time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the year to come, they are also a time to celebrate and be thankful for a new year of possibilities and chances and show our loved ones how much we love and care for them. -George Strait, You can take the girl out of Texas but not Texas out of the girl. At Texas Swingers Clubs, the Lifestyle Is Booming, My Brothers Ashes, the Bayou, and an Enigmatic Life, What Is Left to Say About Waco? 800-810-1617 gograph@gograph.com; Login. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? Happy birthday! Like trying to bag flies.Like putting socks on a rooster.Easy as pissing up a rope. There is no one alive who is 'you-er' than you! Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. I thought it was a joke. Down the road a piece.A fur piece.Turn left past yonder.I wont say its far, but I had to grease the wagon twice before I hit the main road.Two hoots and a holler away. Drop them in the comments below! What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? We share comprehensive travel guides and tips for anyone traveling around America. A Camerasince Texas is super photogenic. "You May All Go to Hell and I Will Go to Texas" Davy Crockett This quote truly epitomizes the spirit of Texas. This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. Happy Birthday to you. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. Funny 60th Birthday Quotes. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. Happy birthday. The festival includes live performances from Texas artists like Aaron Watson, the Josh Abbott Band, Kyle Park and more. Related PostsThe 7 Regions of TexasThings to Know before you go to Texas70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas. -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. The 60 Best Happy Birthday To Sister Quotes from Heart; Happy Birthday To Cousin; Love Quotes for Him; The 60 Romantic Cute Love Quotes For Her from Heart. Just a small serving. Pin these Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions for Your Trip! Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been with." - Madeleine L'Engle. It means you're no fool. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. 3. Here are some of our favorite Texas quotes, Texas Instagram captions, and Lone Star sayings to make you fall deeper in love with Texas! No hill for a stepper.Slick as a whistle.Easy as pie. I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented because Texans think anything is possible. Hot will cool if greedy will let it.Take a tater and wait.Dont get your panties in a wad.Wash off your war paint. Image Credit. We report on vital issues from politics to education and are the indispensable authority on the Texas scene, covering everything from music to cultural events with insightful recommendations. Dumb as a box of rocks. Let's set a date for cake this week. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. -Robert Kiyosaki, I was always proud of being from Texas and, you know, maybe that was part of fearlessness. 4. There's more to come, be prepared and keep thinking big even as you grow older. It's your birthday! The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Dont mess with Texas. Texas Department of Transportation, Id heard about Texas football and how much of a religion it is, but to go to Odessa and experience it first-hand is something different than just hearing about it. Jay Hernandez. In my district back in Texas, significant because we have a big solar panel production plant in Keller, Texas, we have a wind turbine plant in Gainesville, Texas, up in Cook Country. And we Texans know how to take it all in stride! I think you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. Idina Menzel, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. John Steinbeck, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. Edward Smith, Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class.- James Michener, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. - By Steven Wright. They hung the wrong horse thief. Yay, you're here! He blames everything on the weather or his raising.He got caught in his own loop.He came close to the dollar knife. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! "Moscow mules and sweet tea.". I feel lower than a gopher hole.I feel so low I couldnt jump off a dime.She eats sorrow by the spoonful.You look like you were sent for and couldnt go.Sad enough to bring a tear to a glass eye.He looks like the cheese fell off his cracker. Texas is a cult. Lindsay Mcelwee, I Like The Image Texas Brings To Mindthat Of Bigness, Of Strength, Of Goodness. Ninfa Laurenzo, The enemy never sees the backs of my Texans! General Robert E. Lee, CSA, Texas history is a varied, tempestuous, and vast as the state itself. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved worldwide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards, One day, it just dawned on me that Im from Texas, and thats what I am. Sissy Spacek, People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map.
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